Okay, that’s a little dramatic. What really happened was I got questions. And more questions, and then confusion. Not exactly the mental picture I had when I presented my greatest accomplishment to my peer.
So, I pouted. Then, I dismissed his critique outright. Ten minutes later, I agreed with him. After I was able to put away my bruised ego, I realized every discrepancy he’d pointed out was dead on. This wasn’t his fault. It was mine.
With so many issues staring me in the face, I did what any determined, hard-nosed writer would do. I rented Kingdom Hearts II – which I now realize would be much easier to maneuver if I’d bothered to play the first one (It was Jack Sparrow who did it to me. I had to play with my very own mini Johnny Depp). I’ve cleaned out my attic and worked in my yard. I’ve done everything and anything to avoid dealing with the major problem — the ending.
It’s not like I haven’t done any work, though. I actually changed a few earlier chapters to make Quinn (the antagonist) and Wyatt (his uncle) more proactive. I’ve made notes on how to address the easier complications my partner pointed out. I just can’t fathom wrangling that ending.
The problem is, telling a story is like pouring something into a funnel. You start with this wide-open space with limitless room to move. Then, as you get nearer to the end, the space constricts, and those particles of information become closer, and eventually blend together. But, if one particle doesn’t fit, not much will be coming out the other side. So, that’s what I have right now – a funnel full of sand with a couple of Legos chucked in there. The damn Legos are jamming up the works.
Taking a step back, though, and viewing my situation objectively, it’s safe to say this is not the end of the world. After all, I’m a writer. I play make-believe for a living (well, I would if I were getting paid right now). I get to invent entire worlds and populate them with anyone I want. It’s not so bad. In fact, most people would probably want to smack me for the amount of complaining I’ve done thus far.
I’ve done the “real world” and held (however briefly) many of its unappetizing occupations. I remember what it’s like to struggle through a day of boredom or stress or contention. And I’m grateful every day that I’m here, doing this. Still, there are moments when this job is pretty tough. But, they’re only moments. And “tough” is definitely a relative term.
I’ll get it. It may take me a couple more weeks to get back into it (and not because of Kingdom Hearts, either, because if that dude with the water-shooting guitar smacks me down one more time, I’m chucking the entire machine out the nearest window), but I will finish. And this time my ending will be the one I’d imagined it to be.