Deciding that television was rotting my brain (or at least seriously debilitating the part that allowed me to focus on one thing for more than ten seconds), I decided to shift gears and try some guided meditation. I found a few likely scenarios online and chose what seemed a simple task for my starting out: pretend to walk through a forest, cycling through the seasons until I ended up in a field of flowers under the brilliant summer sun.

I settled down and did the whole yoga breath thing, quieting my mind and relaxing my body. I closed my eyes and I was inside the fiery autumn forest–with Eric Idle. And so began the two-cent tour of my meditation.

“Right. If you look over here, you’ll see the pretty leaves. Do watch your step. Oi! There are some lovely ones over here. Alright, then, keep up. This way, please. This way.”

For several amused moments I followed Eric through the forest in my mind, watching his crazed hair and butler-ish charcoal suit duck in and out of the trees as he insisted I keep up with the tour. And then it hit me.

I really do watch too much TV.