A treat not of my own invention


My web-hunting friend, X, has managed once again to surface with a winner. From the good people over at Something Awful comes a review for a movie that insists — and I quote — “Where Buffy leaves off, Avia Richards the vampire huntress begins.” This is just about the funniest review ever. It’s so damn amusing, I even feel compelled to procure this video and see for myself.

The review is three pages long, but well worth it, I assure you. My favorite quotes are, in order of hilarity:

1) “Passing by this nefarious killer’s Titanic poster, the detectives head up into the attic in search of their suspect.

2) Nothing like seeing two virtual strangers dry hump while their teeth glow Chernobyl blue.”

3) “Vampires are the misplaced keys of the monster world.”

4) And the best of all, a direct quote from the film itself. “Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m killing innocent people. But the fact is that I am Avia, Vampire Hunter, and I will not stop until all vampires are dead.”

That last one sets the tone nicely, doesn’t it?

So without further ado, Ben ‘Greasnin” Platt’s Review of Avia Vampire Hunter

Oh. And a video of the trailer. God bless YouTube.

About Avery

I am a roller derbying, dark fantasy author. This blog chronicles my adventures in life, writing and skating. View all posts by Avery

6 responses to “A treat not of my own invention

  • avery

    Is that a real movie, Stewart? Or, are you pulling my leg? If it’s an actual movie, I need to see it yesterday! Too funny.

  • Stewart Sternberg

    You know, I own JESUS CHRIST, VAMPIRE HUNTER. I think you would enjoy it. The idea is that a group of lesbian vampires have been attacking the clergy, and so they church resurrects JC himself to use his martial arts skills to take on the baddies. Helping him is the masked Mexican wrestler known as Santos!!!

  • avery

    Sqt — Actually, the trailer isn’t too bad, like Charles said. But, if the movie is anywhere near as amusing as Something Awful makes it out to be, it’ll be worth renting for that fact alone.Charles — I thought the same thing about the makeup, that it wasn’t too shabby for low budget.Christina — I don’t know if this will renew or love or make you run screaming, but good luck either way.

  • Christina

    I’m going to have to check it out. I like the idea and I’m looking for something to renew my love of vampires.

  • Charles Gramlich

    I kind of liked the trailer. Good makeup for a lower budget film. I like the long fingers on some of the creatures.

  • SQT

    Okay, I can’t bring myself to watch the trailer. The still that shows up on it is too disturbing.

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