I’ve been thinking about this whole moving thing. The town Mom and I are headed to is called Tyne. I can’t even find the fucking place on a map–which is strange enough, right? Add to that how this whole moving situation came about, and it gets even stranger.

Mom gets a phone call a couple of weeks ago. This nursing home in Tyne needs a RN supervisor and wants to know if my mom wants the job, starting ASAP. Whoever it was said something about getting Mom’s name from a reference, but was totally vague about the source–like they just pulled her name from a magic phone book and didn’t want to admit it.

I’m wondering why her? Don’t they have enough people scrambling for a job as good as that over there? I Why do they need to call hospitals in Montgomery County? And, as far as I know, she’s the only one they approached. It just sounds weird, doesn’t it? I mean, this is a recession and all. I’ve heard of universities luring professors from one school to the other–that’s how my dad got his last job–but nurses? Maybe it does happen and I’m just not aware of it. But, something about this isn’t sitting right with me.

I know. It’s not like it’s a haunted ghost town that’s trying to suck my mother into it because she’s some sort of conduit to the dead, or something. My brain’s not completely rotted from horror movies. I guess I’m just jumpy right now. Since Dad, I’ve been more worried about her than I should be.

Mom would be ever-so-pleased to hear of my concern. That is, if she’d believe it. We don’t really get along, at all. I could’ve scraped her jaw off the floor with a shovel when I said I wanted to move to Tyne with her. Her expression was like someone had just stomped Santa Claus in front of a kindergartener. That alone was almost worth the daily doses of nagging bullshit I’ve had to hear since she said I could come along.

I keep having these dreams about my dad. Someone said that would happen a lot in the first year. I hate that, “The First Year.” Like there’s going to be a Last Year. Like he’s on a business trip or in the military. There’s no Last Year for him–except for last year. The First Year; what a load of crap. Anyway, in these dreams, he keeps calling out to me in a panicked voice. It always wakes me up suddenly, and then I can’t shake the feeling he wants me to do something. Add that to feeling the weird urge to go with Mom and watch over her, and you can see why I’m thinking her new job offer is on the shady side.

I don’t fucking know. I’m just tired, I guess. Does dreaming all night disrupt your sleep patterns? Maybe I’m just having delusions from being clinically exhausted.

Clinical exhaustion. That excuse sounds so much better coming from the mouths of publicists for coked-out celebrities.